Passing A Drug Test

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Passing A Drug Test

By Ex Narc, Barry Cooper

It is very easy to pass drug tests.  As a former decorated drug agent and current activist who has been arrested numerous times, I know how to pass a drug test.  Unfortunately, the United States has the largest prison population in the history of mankind.  Tens of thousands of good souls have and are suffering in prison as an indirect result of failing a drug test. Millions have been denied jobs because of the unconstitutional testing of their urine and hair.  In a humanitarian spirit of good will, I am sharing “Passing A Drug Test” with you.  There are no detoxifier ads on this page.  If you or a loved one has been arrested for any drug crime, recommend me as their drug expert witness.  None of my clients are in jail.  Not one.

Passing A Urine Test

 

If a urine sample is requested, simply go to the nearest head shop (smoke shop, pipe shop, novelty store) in the jurisdiction you are providing the sample and ask the clerk for the most powerful detoxifier everyone is using.  Because of strict laws prohibiting the sale of systems that aid in passing a drug test, it’s important not to use words such as “drug test” or “probation” or “employment.  If you use these words, it is likely the clerk will refuse to sell you the detoxifier because she suspects you are an undercover agent trying to sting the store.

passing drug test

The best detoxifier is usually the most expensive.  Follow the directions EXACTLY as instructed in the packaging. Some detoxifiers come with a toll free number so if have any questions, you may call for help. I have never heard of these phone numbers being a trap.  I have found the detoxifier operators are eager to help you find success with their product. To insure you purchased the correct detoxifier and are using it properly, always test yourself with a home drug testing kit before submitting a urine sample to the government.

Never make a court appearance without detoxifying first.  Always ingest the urine cleaner before walking into ANY COURT APPEARANCE because courts oftentimes surprise defendant’s by ordering “on the spot” urine samples.

Sometimes, when a person has been arrested, as part of their bond agreement, they are instructed to immediately report for a drug test after leaving the jail.  If this happens to you, go directly to a head shop and purchase the detoxifier before taking the test.  If you are questioned why it took so long to arrive for the urinalysis, explain you were in a meeting with your lawyer.

While using synthetic urines, simulated penises or using another person’s urine will work for employment, these choices will not work when giving samples to a court. Court testers always watch the pee go in the cup so if the officer notices a fake penis, or balloon or anything unnatural, the citizen is immediately arrested and charged with “tampering” and the sample is considered dirty. Once the officer is certain he or she has collected a sample that came from your body, he or she will quickly pre test the urine and if it’s clean, the urine is flushed and is not sent to a costly lab for further testing.  If the pre test is “dirty,” the sample is sent to a laboratory for more sophisticated testing.  Depending on your legal situation, Sometimes the cops will arrest you on the spot and sometimes they wait for the lab results which could take days.  If used properly, the detoxifying drinks always trick the pre test and often trick the labs.

If the urine sample is being given for employment, ask around to learn if the testers watch the sample go into the cup. If they don’t, use synthetic urine to easily pass the test. Many urine tests for employment purposes bypass the pre testing and send the sample directly to the lab. In this case, and if time allows,  I recommend total abstinence from any drug use unless you know you are not going to be watched…then it is safe to use synthetic urines.

Passing A Hair Follicle Test

 

If a hair sample is required, you can purchase detoxifying shampoos from the same head shop.  Again, follow the directions EXACTLY and you will pass.  Bleaching your hair prior to the test will also cause you to pass. I know at least a dozen people who have passed hair tests by bleaching their hair and/or using the detoxifying shampoos.  The idea is to “wash away” or compromise the trapped detectable toxins in your follicle. See the illustration below.

 

If you were arrested for a drug crime or have a loved one in prison, do not feel ashamed and do not feel alone. It is neither wrong nor immoral to possess or sell a substance…it’s just illegal and it shouldn’t be.  Just like you, millions of others in the United States are being arrested and prosecuted for non-violent drug crimes.

The U.S. now has the largest prison population in the history of mankind and currently holds the world record for the number of incarcerations, proportionately and numerically. The United States has more prisoners than communist China and China has one billion more in population.  Depending solely on a lawyer for your freedom is a sure ticket to imprisonment.  Over two million people are presently incarcerated and they all had lawyers.  So, having only a lawyer did not work at least two million times.   For instance, the absolute fastest way to go to prison unnecessarily is to fall into the sucker’s trap of plea bargaining a defensible case for deferred adjudication or probation. Over 50% of humans placed on deferred or probation wind up in prison. Deferred and probation should be one of the last resorts to resolve your case – not the first.  It is vital to have Expert Witness and Drug Expert, Barry Cooper, examine all the evidence and filings of your case to insure your lawyer is not selling you out.

 

pass hair drug test

Read the really good information on how to pass a drug test in the comments below.   Help contribute to this article by posting what you know about this subject. Share your information with us and share this information with others.  It’s a senseless drug war.

 

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About the Author 

“You may have seen him on the pages of Maxim, or during one of his many appearances on CNN, Fox News and Spike TV. He’s the cop who turned against the drug war. In American pop culture right now, there’s nobody quite like him. As one of the former top drug cops working the Texas highways, he was ferocious, bringing down hundreds of people for possessing even tiny amounts of an illegal substance.In his new life as an anti-prohibition crusader and activist filmmaker, he’s just as ferocious, but now it’s his former colleagues in law enforcement who are sweating his intimidating gaze…Cooper is on a mission to free America’s pot prisoners and take down the abusive cops he once sought to emulate. In the terminology of war, Barry is an insurgent, lobbing bombs into the fourth estate as his form of penance for all the people he put behind bars on drug offenses.” —True/Slant

Barry Cooper has received global attention by being reported in over 700 newspapers and magazines including Rolling Stones, High Times, a feature in Maxim Magazine and a front cover feature in Cannabis Culture Magazine and the Texas Observer. He has been a guest on numerous radio shows and every cable news channel including MSNBC Tucker Carlson, FOX Geraldo At Large, ABC I Caught, NBC Mike and Juliet Morning Show and NPR’s, This American Life. He has also appeared as drug and legal expert in five episodes of SPIKE TV’s reality show, MANSWERS. Barry recently starred with Woody Harrelson, 50 Cent, Eminem and Susan Sarandon in the anti drug war documentary, “How To Make Money Selling Drugs.” The movie features Barry freeing prisoners.

“Barry was even better than he says he was. He had a knack for finding drugs and made more arrests and more seizures than all of the other agents combined. He was probably the best narcotics officer in the state and maybe the country during his time with the task force.” –Tom Finley, Commander Permian Basin Drug Task Force

52 Comments
  1. Greetings all!
    Beware of the latest greatest machine that muni/ parole/probation dept. are using now ……they start you off with a standard drug test a 5 panel generally and once they are sure your clean the use this as a baseline for ocular testing machine (eye) it detects size/shape/ and possibly any gases from your eyes to see if your high…… wish i could tell you the name of the system but maybe in a future post..our city leases one for the muni court here and pay around 38K a year for the use of this infernal machine to bust you for being dirty!!! Our city has a computerized call in for the probationers to call every working court day to see if they have been chosen for a random testing which they charge you for the test ……….I here about this machine and the total Draconian urine testing from many here in our area…..
    Rev. GEARS

    • Barry Cooper 2 years ago

      Hey Rev,

      Please email me at info@nevergetbusted.com. I would like more information on what you posted so I can add it to the article.

      Thanks,

      Barry

      • Nitro Chris 1 year ago

        Barry, The eye test machine he is talking about can be found at http://www.passpoint.net our county has them as well. Peace

      • ed 7 months ago

        Do you know anything about the tests that can test u for alcohol 3 days back

    • lee 10 months ago

      I was attacked by the VA with blood tests! A chronic pain on painkillers 23 yrs, never had an issue. Well, I told them to eat $hit! I refuse to allow anyone to tell me how to run my life, and told them I was old enogh to make my own choices! They took me off painkillers and left me in withdrawl for 4 months until the meds was out of my system. Now I suffer incredible pain in my lower back after 3 failed operations. I had one Dr associate me with military, I told him I was Hon. discharged in 1969 after doing incredible screwed up things for them. At a time when Military was so unpopular too! I have smoked 43 yrs going on 44 yrs. Then I see every Dr unwilling to precribe meds if i tested hot. The Govt. has no right to tell us how to live, and do as they did with me. The worst was an old west point Dr, who said, Ya want me to give pain meds when you smoke pot? I told him to eff himself with respect.

    • Wanda 7 months ago

      I tried using a large bottle of guaranteed cleaner from a head shop before a urine test. It failed!

      • Avatar of admin
        admin 7 months ago

        That is why you are suppose to test yourself before trying it for real. If you test it first and fail, you can call the makers to discover what you did wrong. Or you can purchase another brand.

  2. James 2 years ago

    I hear that these detox drinks can be tested for and most do not work is this true?

    • DJ 2 years ago

      I have had success with synthetic urine. It is the only thing I trust to give a clean test result.

      • Barry Cooper 2 years ago

        Synthetic urines are the very best IF THE TESTER IS NOT WATCHING THE PEE GO IN THE CUP. All probation departments and courts insist on watching however, most employment drug tests allow for privacy. If you are being allowed privacy, use the synthetic urines.

        Peace,

        Barry

    • Barry Cooper 2 years ago

      James,

      If you are not sure ( and you want to be sure because too much is at stake), purchase one of the detoxifiers and test it by purchasing a drug test kit. Drink the detoxifier and then test yourself.
      Best,

      Barry

      • jessie 1 year ago

        Wanted to say you can buy at your local dollar tree marijuana test for just a buck!!!!oh n barry just watched your videos…..LOVE THEM..it took some balls to do what you did.bravo and i completely agree with you.thanks!!!

        • Darci 10 months ago

          The dollar stores tests are very accurate, at least for pot. My boyfriend had trace amounts (the nurse said she had to send it out to make sure it wasn’t a false positive and asked if he was around someone who had smoked in front of him.)with a powerful drug test performed at a clinic. For shits and giggles, I made him take a dollar tree test and it still showed up as positive. Don’t waste your hard earned $$$ on the expensive home drug tests, use the dollar store ones. Spend the money on the synthetic urine or the high powered detoxifiers.

      • andrea 8 months ago

        Hi Barry,
        I’m from Australia and was curious if these detoxifiers work for meth users. Also what is a detoxifier? Furthermore, you mentioned about going to a head shop, however I’m not sure what shop it is your referring to. Please reply asap as i one day till my urine test for parole.

        • Avatar of admin
          admin 8 months ago

          Detoxifiers work for methamphetamine, cocaine, heroin and marijuana. A detoxifier is a special drink or shampoo that helps a person pass a drug test. I don’t know the ingredients.. The term “head shop” is used in the U.S. to mean any shop that sells marijuana related items and other drug paraphernalia. Sometimes the term, “smoke shop” is used instead of “head shop.”

  3. BruinLifer 2 years ago

    Yes… for employment, alway buy two detoxifiers and two home test kits. For control, take the first home kit and confirm a positive result. Take the detox and then test again and confirm negative result. They have different levels of home kits… $30 at drug store (no pun intended). I used head shop kits. In hingsight, shoudl have used both. When going for employement that will reliably give you thousaands of dollars in years to come, it is a small investment.

    Don’t be s $toner like me, and when you go for the real deal, leave you ID at home. I took second detox (have 60 min window to test starting in one hour), drove 30 min to testing facility, go there and realized no ID when I went to check in. Drove llike a MADMAN back home, got ID, then back to facility. Lucky got there right in middle of window. Never sweated so hard until i got results.

    Tip to find out if hair or urine: when admin assistat goes to give you info on test, play dumb, and go, “oh, how is that done? do they have to use needles?” And she goes, “oh, no, it is just piss cup”. me: “oh, good. Didn’t know if it was bloood or not… scared of needles, you know”

    I have heard the following helps, but cannot verify science behind it:
    -Always test mid stream and stop test before your bladder is empty.
    -be well hydrated before you detox… maybe a couple glasses of water an hour before detox (if you have too much water, you get clean result, but Specific gravity (denisty) may be off, requiring re-test

    • johnsonjohnes 2 years ago

      what’s funny is when everybody things all drug tests are almost made by one drug company such that they feel the urge to continue using where a detoxifier is needed which still is not guarantee. Different UA manufactures make UA cups but they all very in how its compiled where, the more you spend, the less likely those detoxifiers will work, simultaneously, its not like the detox kits come with top of the line cups for you to test yourselves. you are going up against a government, not an employer….and as bankrupt and in denial this government is, they still have UNLIMITED funds, and at the same time, i’ve been in this PINCHE PUTA of a system for long enough to know, I’ve never encountered ANY of them using CHEAP cups, but what do I know. yall go and do your thing.

  4. Timmeh! 2 years ago

    Do those detox drinks really do anything? Seems like they always tell you to chug a bunch of water after you drink them, so how do we know it isn’t just all the water that’s doing the trick?

    • johnsonjohnes 2 years ago

      you don’t. that’s just the risk you take if you wanna keep doing what you do and getting what you want.

  5. Barry Cooper 2 years ago

    Addition To Article:

    When under the jurisdiction of courts, fake organs, synthetic urines or using another person’s urine does not work because the tester watches the pee go in the cup. If the officer notices a fake penis, or balloon or anything unnatural, the citizen is immediately arrested and charged with tampering and the sample is considered dirty which violates the probation.

    If nothing unnatural is observed, the sample is tested with a strip and if it’s clean, the urine is flushed and is not sent to a costly lab for further testing. If the strip indicates drug use, the sample is sent to the lab for confirmation. If used properly, the detoxifying drinks always trick the test strips and often trick the labs.

    Many urinalyses for employment purposes bypass the strip test and send the sample directly to the lab. In this case and if time allows, I recommend total abstinence from any drug use unless you know you are not going to be watched…then it is safe to use synthetic urines.

    To insure you purchased the correct detoxifier and are using it properly, always test yourself with a home drug testing kit before submitting a urine sample to the government.

    The method described above worked for me over a dozen times in the year I was on pre-trial probation and at the time, I smoked marijuana every day. This method has also worked for dozens of my friends and tens of thousands of Americans.

  6. 34 female uk 2 years ago

    Hello, I live in the UK, can you please tel me what a “head shop” is? is it like a chemist / pharmacy? or like a supplement shop, where you would get weight gain?? or is there a online one where i could buy detoxifier?? and is it A tablet or powder or liquid that i drink?? and what do i say i want the most powerful detoxifier for if i get asked.. is it just like them dexoxing weeks people do to get all the rubish out of their system.. sorry to ask stupid questions, but i never heard of a “head” shop before.. thanks for doing all this.. its even appreacaited over here…

    • BruinLifer 2 years ago

      Hey there, female.

      A head shop is basically a store that fronts as a place selling all sorts of counterculture knick-knacks. Typically operated by kids in their early twenties, you can find good music and the smell of incense as you enter. Products will include incense, incense burners, maybe some gothic art, t-shirt for various musicians, your standard bob Marley wares (posters, hats, shirts, etc.). While those goods may fill 75% of the store, the part of the business that keeps them in business is all the pipes, bongs, smoking utensils and accessories that fill the other 25% of the business. They store is not necessarily a front for the pipe sales – although it varies state by state, in the US, marijuana pipes, bongs, etc. at generally legal to sell, buy, and posses, so long as they are brand new, clean, and contain no marijuana residue. They are sold under the notion that they are used for tobacco (head shops typically have a few dusty jars on their shelves with various types of tobacco that no one ever buys). I have never seen anyone use straight tobacco in a pipe or bong (water pipe, technically…. that is what you have to call them… call them a bong in the shop and they will ask you to leave). One you break in your new piece it will be extremely hard to get it clean like new. With that residue present, you are in possession of drug paraphernalia.

      You can read more about Head Shops here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Head_shop

  7. electrolyte 2 years ago

    There are actually more drug tests out there that you may or may not encounter, in addition to UA and Hair Analysis. There may me more being developed and fielded as we speak. All drug tests have their strengths and weaknesses on what they find and how far back they can find it. Generally, one test is *better* than the other at finding a specific drug or class of drugs than the others, even though they go through the SAMSHA-5 or 10-Panel (MS/GC) when sent to a lab, but I really only know how they work with marijuana. Here are some of the most common I’ve encountered:

    Blood – Is exactly what it is. Law Enforcement here (N.C.) likes to use it for drug cases when or after making an arrest, especially for traffic stops. I was personally subjected to them twice at two different routine traffic stops. The first time was in 2006, where I was basically cornered into admitting to smoking earlier that day because my passenger was toasted. I was arrested and taken to the station where I went through a routine drug analysis with a “Drug Resource Officer” (some of the procedures I’ll tell you about below). They “suggested” I go with them to the local hospital ER and get my blood drawn. I went there at 3:30 am, got handcuffed to the bed railing, with the cop standing in the room and had my blood drawn into 4 10mL tubes that then were sealed and boxed and sent to the SBI blood-lab for an analysis. (It came back negative, but I believe that was a sheer grace of luck since it was delayed for over 6 months). Another event happened when I hit a checkpoint and looked/smelled stoned after leaving a concert I played at. This time, it was a State Highway Patrol checkpoint and they had a mobile blood lab, with two phelbotomists and chairs in what appeared to be this mobile trailer they had pulled into this vacant parking lot. Again, I got handcuffed to the railing and tested, 4 10mL tubes sent to Raleigh (SBI Lab) and because I wasn’t smoking, it came back negative again. Blood tests seem to be good at detecting marijuana while you’re intoxicated (high) on it, but as you metabolize it and store it in fat, it gets less reliable. I’ve read different test time ranges to give good results but it’s almost completely useless after two days from the last high. I’ve never heard of employers using it, but that doesn’t mean they won’t. I do know they can test blood for substances after a workplace or work-related accident that involves medical attention and can hold up treating it while they test it (which happened to my girlfriend once, but they did a really quick test that I do not believe was very reliable)

    Saliva – Saliva testing is getting popular in my experiences because I’ve had two jobs test me with this method (out of the three total I’ve been tested for). Saliva just involves you swabbing your own mouth with a fancy cotton q-tip and getting it at least slightly wet. They seal it off in a cup or bag and ship it to a lab. These things are ridiculously easy to pass for marijuana because THC has a poor affinity for saliva (THC being soluble in fat/non-polar-non-protic molecules while saliva is mostly water/polar & protic). Basically, the only thing the saliva test is good for is finding crack and meth heads (which doesn’t make since, as those substances give them dry mouth and tooth rot anyway). In fact, saliva testing is so poor at testing for marijuana that a friend of mine smoked marijuana before taking a test and passed it. I was there for most of it. But, it’s been about 2-3 years since I’ve been saliva tested, so they may have newer tests that are more sensitive or use tongue residue to test (which would, in theory, contain most of the THC in the mouth).

    Skin Patches – Another friend of mine was on probation for a long time. He started being tested with this gigantic patch they put on his arm and had to wear it for a week or two at a time. It looked like a cross between a band-aid and one of those clear anti theft patches they put on DVDs and such. It supposedly is “unbeatable” because it’s hard to tamper with (you can go to jail if it’s removed for just about any reason) and it’s constantly testing by absorbing metabolites through the sweat and oil from your skin. Plus, it’s testing for at least a week straight. He said his was a trial run, and they did it for a couple of months on him before they switched back to UA. I don’t know if they’re preparing to do this in the long run now, since it’s relatively new, but it’s really invasive. The biggest catch is, law enforcement can only use it when they’ve got you for a long time (hence it being used on my friend on probation). I don’t see how an employer could use it without getting sued or losing prospective employees. I wonder if they will make one that is a rapid skin testing patch, as in they can test under an hour?

    Hair Testing – This one has been covered but I thought I would add my two cents. Hair that can be tested is ANY body hair. I know this for a fact because my ex-girlfriend’s brother was tested by hair analysis while he was fighting for child custody. He tried bleaching and shaving his head, and always spent a good chunk of money on detoxing shampoos/soaps to no avail because they tested his body hair (beard, chest, eyebrow, arm…etc). Hair testing can look back up to several years (I think the longest I’ve read was 9 years, but I believe that the average could be 3-4 years), but is standardized to look at 90 days (3 months). The reason is that the metabolites they test for are in the hair strands themselves, being embedded in them like bricks in a wall. The more recent you’ve used, the closer to the scalp (or body) the metabolites are. When they cut, they get right down to the scalp like a buzz cut. The hair on your scalp is more exposed to the elements, as well as being cut and modified and therefore they might have a shorter window for testing, but 90 days may not be enough time. However, expect that anything you’ve done in the last year to show up, depending on your hair length. Bleaching, perming, curling does not alter it significantly enough. In addition, they’ve developed hair tests that can test alcohol metabolites. Hair analysis is probably the toughest to beat, at least in my book. The best hope I have for not being hair tested is that it costs a lot of money to test it. Law enforcement and the courts will do it, as well as some of the more wealthier employers who can afford it, but for most employers and even larger ones that do mass screening, it’s not cost effective. Additionally, as hair testing goes so far back, it reaches into a gray area where someone may have used years ago a few times and stopped, but tested positive for it.

    UA – Urinary Analysis, the standard. Again, thought I would add my two cents. This is the one everybody uses and the most cost-effective for employers because it’s so widely used and has been around so long. The best pointers I’ve found that have worked for me are a few days to a week abstinence, dilution (water and the detox drinks mentioned in the article) and a little protein shake or drink. The reason for the protein is that some labs they send it to, test for adulterants by looking for the amount of B-vitamins (which is what is in most detox drinks) and protein being expelled. They know that those drinks seriously dilute urine and expel a lot of B-vitamins (which is why the pee is so vividly yellow) to mask the metabolites, while being low in creatine (a protein expelled in urine). If they find little or no creatine, low urea content, plus high water content and high b-vitamins and other common diuretics, they will flag it as potentially adultered. The easiest way to get around that is to make sure you get a lot of creatine containing detox drinks or drinking a protein shake/muscle builder formula with the detox drink. That way you can have protein in your urine and not cause much suspicion.

    As I mentioned earlier, there were a few field tests that were performed by the DRO on me that kind of caught me off guard. The officer told me that these results would be used against me in court. I was skeptical. These tests have also been used on other people in this area, from what I’ve heard and asked about. I wonder if Barry has heard of any of these?

    1) Sticking out my tongue – this was one of the first tests done. The DRO told me to stick out my tongue. He later explained that I had smoked marijuana because my tongue was “green”. In fact, it may have been because I drank Mt. Dew earlier that night and didn’t brush my teeth for most of the day. He said that he could tell the difference because a tongue turns “green” when the liver processes THC, it’s a “dead-giveaway.” I couldn’t find a lawyer that had heard of it and only found out about some of it on the internet in research. Definitely not something I’ve heard of in court.

    2) Eye test – I had the gaze test performed on me for alcohol, but there was another test done where he held a clear plastic chart up to my eyes that had 14 different eye dilation sizes against it, with descriptions for each one and the possible substance causing the dilation. He loves using that chart on people and trying to match up the eyes. He thought I was on opiates, marijuana or meth, or all three. I thought I was just scared shit-less and wide-eyed from that and all these weird tests being done on me.

    3) The balance test – The DRO used that on me to tell if I was “high” because, supposedly, people high on marijuana “jitter and lose their balance.” He had me walk in a straight line, the foot over foot, the balance on 1 leg with my other leg held out slightly in front of me for two minutes.

    4) Random weird questions – This must be some kind of absurd psychology thing because he would start out with the who, what, when, where questions about you and then proceed to ask you strange things like “Tell me everything you’ve done today from the moment you’ve got up until the moment you were arrested” or “What do your friends do for a living?” Refusal to answer is an admission of guilt and is noted on your record. The purpose is for body language, supposedly, because he gets super-critical and notes everything you do as a “strong suspicion” of drug use. Being nervous, relaxed, confident, anxious, aggressive, fidgety, sad, joking around, laughing, normal…ANYTHING is a sign. If you sit there and stare at him and talk like Ben Stein, it’s a sign of drug usage because you’re not supposed to be “that” relaxed in interrogation. Maybe I’m missing out on something here, but the judges eat this shit up and take his word for gold.

    Anyway, I hope this was useful. I enjoyed reading the article, Barry!

    • bruinlifer 2 years ago

      When pulled over by the police, if you are indeed guilty (i.e. more than 3-4 drinks in last hour) and if you are indeed confident you are going to go downtown, it is best to just keep your trap shut. As pointed out, the judges, courts, jurys,etc, love tthis shit. Any field sobriety test, for the most part, will only work against you. Nervous or relaxed, it doesn’t matter. The cop wil write it up and report it as suspicious. I have two DUIs (sidebar: yeah, okay, everyoe has a drink or two and drives, and some get caught. That is just plain unfortunate. I’m not condoning drunk driving, but I think you can have two drinks, be a 0.08 BAC, and not be an unsafe driver. Any way,, yeah, so LAME OF ME to get popped for a second one). You are going to do all the FST and think that you might pass, you might do okay, you might get away. You won’t. They cop smell alcohol, your judgement is slightly impaired making you think that you can get out of this, but you can’t. If they smell it and you say you werent drinking, they will assume you are lying and pull you out anyway. So unless you think you can lie and say you just dropped offyour drunk friends, you have no choice but to admit you had a drink or two (everyone says one or two, be it one or two or seven or eight… cops know that, so “one or two” makes them suspicious already… if you had one or two, you shoudl be in a condition to note exactly what you had… was it ONE or was it TWO?). As soon as you admit any consumption, FST is automatic. Every little detail of my FSTs was in my DUI police reports. Unsteady gait, discheveled look (i.e. shirt untucked), shaking (it was COLD outside), etc. Now, from what I have seen, you are wasting your money with a lawyer on a DUI, especially the first. I’d save it for for the 3rd or 4th. Unless ther is a technicality you think can help you (i.e. you weren’t driving, but were sitting in back seat sleeping, car didn’t work, you didn’t have keys to car, you were going aroudn the corner only and want to try your luck at the increasing BAC defence… ie. took three shots before leaving to bar to pre-party and alchohol won’t hit till after you arrive), just suck it up,pay the fine, do the classes, and move on. But many people are nervouse, scared, etc. about a DUI so they lawyer up. If this is you, listen up. So about those FSTs…. where they will hurt you is if you do go to a trial or if you are trying to make a plea deal. How you ask? You want ot argue that BAC test didn’t follow protocol or breathalyzer was not calirbated, etc. OK, but being drunk is not just about BAC. If you have low BAC you can still be considered impaired and unable to drive say if you stumble or can’t walk in a straight line. There goes your case!

      Now, contracry to my own advice here is a good story. Once, I truely was drunk in the morning from two supser strong bloody mary’s (maybe 4 shots each). Wife came home, was pissed I had been drinking, so I took off, when aroudn the corner, and slept in my car maybe 5 of 6 hours. Well, some neighbor was suspicious, called the cops. Car reeked, so I told them – two bloody marys 10 hours ago. I was like, shit, here goes #3. Comes complete with a divorce and child support mandate, no extra charge. FUCK! Cop asked me to get out and started to question me… where i had been,where I was going, why I was in my carw, what medication I wsa on, what I ate that day, etc. I said, “Let’s now waste our time. Put the bracelets on me.” He got all confused and said, dood, relax, just want to talk to you. I said I have two priors. Talking at this point is not going to help me. he said, well, if what you are telling me is the truth (that you had two bloody marys in the morning), that would explain the odor and you should be good to go. He didn’t know they are king-sized. ANy way, he convinced me to tlak to him. ANd I knew I was okay (it really was 10 hours). Did FST… I was in dark parking lot with uneven asphalt. I said, can we please go over there? and he obliged to let me do FST on sidewalk that was flat/level. The little line down the center was great and helping me do the ten steps and turn… (WHICH IS A TRICK… always clarify befor eyou do it on which foot and which count you turn). Low and behold, I passed the FST. They said I was fine, but just needed to do BAC. I blew…..holy shit! It was 0.06. THey checked my records, and my “zero-tolerance” from previous DUI probabtion had ended seriously three days earlier! I was the luckiest mother fucker alive. Got in my car and drove off. ONce the cops realized I was good, and I did, all the tension was gone and I could BS with them.

  8. Simple 2 years ago

    Take a condom and tell your friend that doesnt have drug toxins in their system and tell him to piss in it. Tie it in your pants and when you go to pee just pour it into the cup. there done no hassle nothing. works everytime for me

  9. John 2 years ago

    I was recently pulled over and had been smoking in my car. the cop asked me to step outside and had stand with my feet together, hands at my side. he then told me close my head and tilt my head back. when you are high on MJ your eyes will jitter either up and down, or left to right. i cant remember which is for weed and which one is for alcohol. either way means you screwed the cop said he could charge me dui and like 10 more charges. luckily he charged me possession under 20 grams and possession of paraphernalia and released my on scene. Now i just waiting for a court date to come in the mail.

  10. Thank you with regard to offering this you saved us a ton of work with this kind of idea!

    • bruinlifer 1 year ago

      only took me two,well,actually nearly three times to learn that lesson

  11. PT 1 year ago

    One of my friends has a mom and sister that own a majority stake in one of the two major testing labs called Quest. Both of them are weed smokers and she told me the ONLY 100% way to pass a test (whether being watched or not) is to drink a TON of water everyday. If your urine is yellow, you’re not drinking enough. She said everybody is different so it all depends on the person, but your urine should come out almost as clear as water. Now, if you’re on probation or parole, they might call it a “negative dilute” meaning you diluted your system with water and then have you back again to piss. As long as you get in the habit of drinking a ton of water a day (I currently do this as it’s also healthier for you) you’ll still come up as a negative dilute. However, and here’s the linchpin, according to the Americans with Disabilities Act, nobody is allowed to tell you how much water you’re allowed to drink each day. She told me “you can even say God told me to drink that much water” and they can’t do a damn thing about it.

    Also, if you’re lucky enough to have a cool Doctor, just get a prescription for Marinol. It’s the federal governments answer to medical marijuana. They use it for cancer patients and aids patients to increase their appetite, but ANY doctor can prescribe it for what’s called “off label use” meaning they believe it to have a different effect than those reported. You might have to call in a favor with a family doctor, friend, or w/e, but if you get the script, fill it, open the sealed container, and tell your probation officer what you’re taking it for. The test will show positive ut since you have a script for it, you’ll be in the clear. Note: it’s pretty tough to find a 420 friendly doctor to write a script for it. I thinki just got lucky.

  12. Lorena G. Peterson 1 year ago

    I have undergone urine tests for employment but i have never undergo a drug test. I wonder how the process is done. Is it as simple as submitting your urine sample for testing?

    • Avatar of admin
      admin 1 year ago

      This is really good information Lorena…thanks. There is a saying, “The solution to pollution is dilution!” To avoid suspiciously clear pee, take a vitamin prior to giving the sample. The vitamin will color your urine.

    • sam snead 7 months ago

      I drank too much water one time and they made me pee over and over again for probation, it is a good idea to flush prior to your test with water. That same time I drank too much water, the next day I was clean.

  13. Avatar of admin
    admin 1 year ago

    If you underwent a urine test for employment, you took a drug test. Your pee was analyzed for drug use.

  14. Danlien 1 year ago

    In regards to passing a hair follicle test, don’t forget that your head isn’t the only place on your body with hair. I had to take a hair follicle test before, and they took multiple samples from my head, arms and legs.

  15. Chris 1 year ago

    I have been in the system since 2002, and probably passed over 100 urine tests using detox products from smoke shops. The ones from GNC, healthfood stores ect work but are usually more money. The dillution method is also true. As long as you follow the directions on the package exactly, you will pass. (test were always probabion, treatment, some were lab tested. I did have one fail. A product I was using advised to avoid all food, caffeine, and beverages besides water for 12 hrs. This one time I ate a small piece of melon and tested positive for MJ. Although the levels were very low, and I know I smoked heavily the day before. Just follow the directions exactly and you will be ok.

  16. HELP? 11 months ago

    OK…. Here is an interesting one I’m clean no drug use for me the lab cancelled my test said the gravity was off asked if I tried to substitute anything obviously not I’m clean I do not need to… I was however trying to beat a cold with temp spikes and I drink a shit ton of soda pop its not uncommon to see me drink 4 liters a day of pepsi? So the night before I was sweating my ass off when I woke up I had two cans of soda followed by a bottle of water could that have done it. Unfortunately for me this was a preemployment test I was pissed off when I heard about that… that might have cost me a new career that I financially need… What can I do, shit my happy ass is willing to pee in front of a doctor for crying out loud I do not care I rather not have my test aborted due to gravity what ever that is.

  17. Zo 11 months ago

    Water is the only guarantee, the rest are placebos. If you flush your body and take vitamins that will color your pee you can pass with THC because the water dilutes the urine to the point where there won’t be enough particles to get a positive result. I have taken well over dozen employment lab test urine test for THC over my career as I am required in my industry for each new contract, I have also passed in the Military in the 80s the same way.

  18. SOFIA 9 months ago

    THEY ALSO HAVE A NEW TEST WHERE THEY TAKE SAMPLES OF U FINGER NAIL AND OR NAIL BED FOR TESTING. I HEARD THIS I ABOUT SHIT A BRICK. TO SEE HOW DESPERATE “THE MAN” IS GETTING TO CONTROLL EVERYONE AN TO KEEP US UNDER THERE THUMB. WE LIVE IN A SO CALLED FREE WORLD BUT TO TRULY GET FREEDOM U MUST GTF OUT OF THE USA

  19. Bill S. 9 months ago

    Barry, I like what you do. . . . I’m in Washington where we now have legalized marijuana. . . . Here, it’s quickly getting to the point that most employers don’t even test for drugs any more. . . From what I know, not even every federal job is testing. . . Our WSLCB is fully on board for the manufacture, distribution and sales of marijuana. . . It’s really something to see. . . In Tacoma, the city counsel put up a road block requiring anyone that want’s to see, to get federal permission. . . The WSLCB and the AG are on board in the suit against Tacoma. . . I never thought I would see this day. . . Come to Washington State, where we have your legal butt covered people. . . During HempFest in downtown Seattle 2013, the cops were handing out bags of Dorito’s to people smoking pot right in front of them, in public. . . It was surreal.

  20. xtroublex 9 months ago

    Thanks Barry for the info. I work for an establishment that does random drug tests but they use saliva tests. I hear that they are a pot smokers best friend. Would you have any info on those? Like I said, they do test and it is completely random. You have only a few minutes (30 max) before having to show up for the saliva test.

    What can we do?

  21. Natalie c 9 months ago

    I bought the detox kit from passyourtest.com I didnt dollow the diet plan as suggested and took the last bottle of pills when I felt like. I passed 2 thc tests but im still scared to take the probation test. I havent even smoked in nearly a month should I be worried?

  22. Cowboy 9 months ago

    Most drug test, especially those for pre-employment screening, test for the drug metabolites in a laboratory rather than testing for the substance itself locally. In the past, employers commonly used the “dipstick method” as it served as a more economic choice. Being rather affordable it was the opted method for pre-employment screening being somewhat effective. However, with competition among employers and the “dipstick” method having many faults, laboratory testing has helped to weed out long term users that simply abstain for the duration of the hiring process and resume after employment. If an employer suspects an employee to be using drugs they have to rely on procedure to have the drug test administered, which not only requires costs and paperwork but gives the employee time to come clean or simply cheat the test. By using a laboratory drug test employers feel as though it is less likely that the person is long term user that has simply stoped using for the duration of the hiring process, and more likely to be a clean applicant. Not only have lab tests become more affordable, but companies feel as though it keeps liability at a minimum. In other words the long term costs are worth the investment. Not only in states were drug testing is mandatory are factories and like employers using lab testing now, but corporations and retailers are using lab testing as opposed to the typical 5 panel or “dipstick” method as well. The government operates on limited resources however, and it depends heavily on the area and the extent of the circumstances as to the method of testing. In some cases it might be easier to pass a drug test for your probation officer than it would to pass a drug test for your employer. The only difference is that legally the authorities and the military are required to monitor, or watch your test. In a pre-employment drug screening specifically an employer cannot require that you be monitored while taking a drug test. A drug test can only be monitored if it is court ordered, otherwise a level of discretion is required by law and employers can only demand samples of saliva or urine. For this same reason an employer must provide good cause as well. So for liability reasons and long term cost effectiveness you are more likely to see lab testing in the workforce, while more local methods such as the “dipstick” or 5 panel testing will probably be continued by the authorities or the military, as they are allowed to monitor you while you take the test. You might try to take your chances with masking agents or synthetic substitutes, but labs lose money when they fail to do their jobs. When companies catch their employees boldly in the act after spending time and money sending them to have a drug screening, a lot of times they confront the agency responsible and in return to do future business with the company they opt to utilize more rigorous testing methods. It could save a company millions if they could avoid a lawsuit by simply using more sophisticated testing methods, as apposed to paying out to an employee that rather easily passed a simple drug screening using a masking agent or a substitute. It’s much more easy to avoid any possibilities by going to more rigorous testing altogether. Not only is it more cost effective in the long run, but it just takes a little more time as apposed paying big because they didn’t. They will test for everything in the urine that is supposed to be there, proper levels or urea, chlorine, sodium, potassium, and creatinine. They can also detect levels of bacteria and the breakdown of wastes from the body. Laboratories might just start checking the urine for levels of those to determine the authenticity of the sample. You might dilute your sample by making yourself sick drinking water constantly, if your taking a drug test for your probation officer you might be in the clear. But if you want to get a job, your best bet might be to come clean by abstaining for more than 30 days before you apply and staying that way until you are employed. If you want to keep one it’s up to you to keep your nose clean and discretely practice what you will in your own time, or just do nothing at all. Personally I think as long as your getting paid you should do your job, but when you go home it’s nobody’s business what you do and it shouldn’t effect your job.

  23. Kaitlyn 8 months ago

    If you can’t afford a detox drink, load up on red meat, fiber and water. The red meat contains high amounts of creatine, this makes it so you can drink allot of water to the point were you pee nothing but water while still having the required amount of creatine in your urine whereas if you didn’t eat the extra creatine you’d be forced to take a retest. The fiber is optional. It helps to reduce the amount of THC in your urine by helping to drag it to your colon instead.

    You’re my hero Barry. Keep fighting the good fight. <3

  24. Robert 7 months ago

    3 hours before testing I drink a cup of dill pickle juice followed by 2 16 oz bottles of water, then a 16 oz bottle of water every 30 minutes until test time while pissing at least 3 times prior to testing. Has always worked for me. And yes, take a creatin supplement that morning.

  25. Keith 7 months ago

    Certo Jell in the canning Isle SWEAR TO POT SMOKERS!!!!
    I just smoke pot…I don’t smoke alot at 1 time but a bowel everyday I am sure…Got hired at a Casino that I didn’t think was gonna happen and I had just got high earlier that day…(Was told to quit 1 or 2 days before doing this so I believe I was lucky for it working in less than 24hrs) I bought Certo Jell in the canning Isle at the local grocery store…White jell that looks like snot…it’s for getting homemade jelly to set…3 to 4 hrs before the sceduled urine test Put the Certo into 32OZ of LUKE WARM WATER…Mix well and DRINK ALL WITHIN 30MINS OF STARTING…It really is nasty, I gagged the whole time but make sure u keep it down!!!! Drink plenty of water and pee 2 or 3 times before the test and I am sure that u will pass
    My ex and I got involved with DHS a few years back and before our Family Teen Meeting I bumped into my Ex and she had a pack of Certo so she knew that it would work and was willing to pee for the courts and DHS with it….
    IF SCEPITAL TRY IT AND BUY A HOME TEST AND I BET YOU 100 DOLLARS IT WILL WORK!!!! Good luck

  26. lady 7 months ago

    @Keith – do you know if Certo Jell has been successful for meth?

  27. Cdmarti 7 months ago

    I smoked meth for the first time on Friday the 17th and haven’t ever since but I’m nervous bout the drug test only because they not only do a urine test but also a hair follicle test and idk how I can pass the hair follicle test….. I really new help figuring this out cause I really need this job

    • Avatar of admin
      admin 7 months ago

      Meth really sticks to the hair. You must get the shampoo described in this article.

    • Cdmarti 7 months ago

      @admin what’s the shampoo called? And will it work 100%

  28. BlueEyez 7 months ago

    I have a few ?’s to ask… Is there anything that’s guaranteed to remove meth from urine? I am prescribed adderall 90mg a day and have to call pretrial every morning to see if I have to pee so my adderall shows up on my 5panel as meth and its beginning to be costly in money every time I have to test. Another ? I have is when it’s sent off to the lab for levels can they then tell the difference between adderall and meth? Although I do know that adderall gives a false positive for meth but didn’t know if someone did use meth along with their adderall which causes false positives for meth if they will know the difference between the adderall amd the meth when it’s sent to the lab? If anyone knows how the lab testing works and could let me know ASAP I would appreciate your timely reply to my post. :) Thanks Alot….

  29. moni2004 7 months ago

    Hi I was curious to know does hand sanitizer help out with a drug screen

  30. Hello, I think your website might be having browser compatibility issues.
    When I look at your blog in Firefox, it
    looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping.
    I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, terrific blog!

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